Read This Before You Give Away Your Personal Power
Read This Before You Give Away Your Personal Power A lot of people go to see specialists like doctors, mechanics, therapists who know more about a problem than we do when they them. In the modern world, this is truly amazing, especially if you live in a larger city, because you may have hundreds of people, within a half hours drive from you, all with specialist knowledge, years of training and willing to serve. I’m all about learning and trying to understand a problem that you might have yourself and trying to be well studied in lots of subjects. But it can be very hard to learn about specialized topics that take years to learn to all the greatest depths, and so, when we have a larger more significant problem, we need to share this challenge we are facing with other people to assist us. There seems to be two types of people in this world when we look at this sort of relationship with specialized knowledge: People who seek help from others for everything People who hate to seek because they want to be seen as capable, don’t like to be told what to do and don’t like giving up control. Like many things in life, it’s wise to sit squarely in the middle and have the ability to see either side and achieve what needs to be achieved by going in either direction. Seek help when needed. Do it on your own when needed. But, most importantly, remove the emotional charges of always feeling like you need help from someone other than you, or, in the second example, often feeling like everyone is out to get you or that you don’t need anyone else. It’s not the specialist that’s the problem, it’s who they are associated to, what their motivations are and can they truly be unbiased, impartial and make decisions WITH YOU AND FOR YOU within your values and needs. This problem is also compounded by certain authorities being part of associations and certain (dare I say) cliques or clubs where fees, commissions and biased information can truly take out the impartiality. As a coach I truly strive to help my clients create a deeper understanding of their situation, both externally as well as internally. I’ve had a few times over the years where I could probably have sought support of some kind for major personal issues that I had had; a bit of depression, going through a life transition and wondering if getting a diagnosis for ADHD in adulthood would be beneficial. But I always felt comfortable enough (maybe through confidence or stubbornness) that I could figure it out on my own. I knew that if I just kept moving I would figure it out. Try this? Try that! Read this. Do it this way instead. Something would eventually give. And if not, I could always seek external help anyway. So if you ever have a big problem or challenge you’re facing, don’t be afraid. Sit with it first. Own it. Say to yourself, “I have an obstacle”. And then celebrate because you had to have moved in the first place to be able to get to where you are now to even have this new problem that you didn’t have before. Smile at it and thank it for all that it’s giving you in new awarenesses and new opportunities. Give it a label yourself and develop any broad or deep awareness around it that you can. Don’t let someone else name it for you just yet. It’s yours, so you get to define it! It’s yours, so you get to come up with the solution and next steps. And then, if need be, you can still change the label and action steps again the next day. Get curious. Ultimately many of us want a solution to our problem but end up with a label and an identity. It’s your situation so why not label it yourself? With all that said, if it’s getting worse faster than you can explore it, best to seek help immediately. What are YOU going to do about your current situation? Peer over the edge and look deep inside, edge finder. What a beautiful way to get to know yourself and love yourself… ~Brett Solomano All Posts Articles Reader Question: Am I Just Being Jealous? September 22, 2024/ Reader Question: Am I Just Being Jealous? I’m really jealous of my girlfriend who has numerous guy friends. She’s… Read More Why Self-Discipline is the Ultimate Act of Liberation. May 16, 2024/No Comments The truth couldn’t be far more liberating. Self-discipline is the foundation for creating true freedom in your life. This article… Read More The Benefits of Developing Persistence and How to Keep It. May 15, 2024/1 Comment The Benefits of Developing Persistence and How to Keep It. Persistence can be a difficult journey, especially when starting!… Read More Load More End of Content.
What is Your Vision for Success? (Hint: It’s What’s Behind the Money.)
What is Your Vision for Success? (Hint: It’s What’s Behind the Money.) Think of two musicians. One is a talented man who is playing on a busy mall on a Sunday afternoon. He has gotten the correct permit from the right authority. He has his business card and CDs (that he created himself). He runs a few social media channels himself and posts updates about upcoming performances, how good his last performances were along with teasing new songs and material to his small but passionate fanbase. These are all the skills he had to learn himself. He unpacks all his gear from his van and wheels it to his favorite spot, making several trips and running back and forward to get it all done quickly. Then taking half an hour to set up and do a sound check. He plays for a few hours, smiles for photos with some fans and gives out a few business cards (with QR codes to his social media channels). As the sun starts going down, he checks his hat, which now has a few hundred dollars cash in it and his Venmo account, which also has a couple of hundred dollars in it, starts to pack up his collection of speakers and instruments and then heads home. He had a great day playing music for his audience on a local main street corner. He will now spend many hours this week updating his social media, responding to new comments from audience members and getting ready for his new album launch. All of which he will do himself. Learn more about my keynote speaking engagements where I talk about life lessons I learned from being a professional stuntman. Another musician is a lead guitarist. That’s all he does. He plays in a well known band and travels the country and sometimes to other countries six to nine months out of the year. He is paid a reasonable salary and his schedule is booked out months ahead for him. While he has little control over where and when he needs to show up for performances due to his contract, he does enjoy traveling and being in a new city multiple times per week, while meeting fans and hanging with friends from far away places. He does miss his family and friends back home who don’t get to see him too often. As show time rolls around, tonight is a larger performance than most, at one of the biggest cities on that side of the country. He goes through the same pre-show routine, double checking with his technicians and managers. Everything is good. His system, as well as the band’s, is flawless. He contributed to creating such a tight and perfect routine and now just has to show up. He and the whole band crush it to a sell out crowd like they do every night, playing the same songs in the same order, using the same jokes and “We love you”s. Afterwards they all go backstage for beers and an after party with a few local celebrities, VIPs and competition winners and receive pats on the back about how good they were and answer the same questions (like “where do you get your inspiration?”) that they do from fans every night. He had a great day playing music for his audience. He then heads to bed in the tour bus while he gets driven several hours throughout the night to the next city, before he wakes up to do it all again. He has four more months of this until he will return home. Which one of the above would you rather be? Does one sound like hard work more than the other? Does one sound more easy, rewarding and inspiring? Success can come in many forms. Money is not the only metric and the impact we have on others and the value we receive to ourselves can be measured in many ways. And the beautiful thing is that we get to design our life the way we want. Onwards and upwards, my friend, as you design yours the way you want. ~ Brett Solomano
Are You Struggling to Change Your Behavior? Here’s Why It’s Hard and How to Succeed.
How can you find the motivation or the flow again? Is it just like being struck by lightning? It can feel like you are either graced from above with inspiration or you aren’t.
Motivation is a myth. Waiting for motivation is the externalization of responsibility for you moving toward your dreams.
The Most Effective Strategies to Overcome Writer’s Block.
The Most Effective Strategies to Overcome Writer’s Block. Let’s face it… Procrastination is horrific. It’s a silent dream killer of pandemic volumes. When you consider all the possible things that could be achieved without procrastination being a factor in this world, the world would look extremely different. Inventions and technology would be further ahead. Artists and their artwork would be serving more people through inspiration, empathy and compassion. But unfortunately, for a number of reasons, we often stay in our comfort zone with too many “good things” within an easy arm’s reach and not enough undesirable consequences to drive us forward. If we can work from home, get everything delivered to us at short notice, why try harder? Here’s why… Because it’s within you. It’s an idea burning away. If you can feel it there simmering for days, weeks and months, do something with it! It’s calling to you. “It’s better to regret something you have done than regret something you have not done.” – Billie Joe Armstrong I’ve wanted to write consistently for a long time. I knew I wanted to leave a bigger legacy of content on the world, serving better mental and emotional awareness. And a habit of writing was for certain one of the core pillars to build this. But the usual blocks, resistance, and justifications would come up… “But what would I write about? I don’t have an audience. When I make just a bit more money, I’ll take the time off to write.” Like many things in life, the solution is quite simple. Just like the desire being within us, the solution to achieve that desire is also within us too. It’s not about waiting for the right invitation, to have enough money or the right idea to drop from the heavens like a lightning bolt. There is only one solution to beat procrastination – taking action. When you are taking action, you are no longer procrastinating. The more action we take (yes, even it’s a bad) is moving us toward (yes, even if it’s slowly) our goals. Take action. Don’t wait for someone else, the right amount of money, the right invitation. Get out there and make it happen. Let’s face it. Does the world need another piece of artwork or blog? No. BUT the world DOES need YOUR blog and YOUR artwork! And that’s what I truly believe. I knew that someone, somewhere, somehow sooner or later is going to enjoy and benefit from my blog (perhaps this is you right now? It’s fine if not but thank you for reading all the same) and someone will pay me money to solve problems for them with my coaching and speaking, through the blogs that I’ve written. The feeling of the expected and future based outcome was good enough for me to say yes to myself, but how would I get started and take action when all of the lack of clarity, lack of momentum and a whole world (or so it feels) is against me? You do whatever it takes, edge finders! I had to trick myself into writing. I pulled out the best tricks in order to get myself to do what my heart desired while my mind and current state of affairs told me otherwise. I had many well-worn paths and programs doing other things that didn’t get me closer to writing (stuck on social media anyone?) that it was an uphill battle to motivate myself to act differently from what I had already been doing for years. Here’s what I did to reprogram myself… Better People Programs They say that your net worth will be the average of the five people you hang around with most. So, this is where you secretly need to tag along with others who are going to the same places as you are too. I got accountability buddies, an editor that I was paying for and a good friend (Scott Ko I’m looking at you buddy!) who was in a similar place with writing content too to have regular discussions with. These all helped pull, push and lift my connection to my writing up. Trap Programs This habit is essentially you setting a trap for yourself. I would leave my laptop out on my bed or couch so that I would have to move it doing anything else relaxing at least. And I would leave it open to the most inviting page, either a blank screen or a half-finished blog. This way I was always likely to say “well, while I’m here I guess I’ll just…” and hopefully that would be enough for me to tip over the line and start writing. Usually, I never had a problem writing once I got started. A trap program like this does nothing other than get you closer to the intended action. Ideally, so close that it’s the only next logical step. Adjacent Programs What other mental programs, tasks or actions are adjacent to the current task? This once again comes from my good buddy Scott Ko who writes a lot on curiosity. Instead of directly writing, which can feel difficult and daunting for some of us to have a starting point AND feel like you have to achieve a certain outcome, ask yourself: “what programs or habits can I run that are similar but not the same, that may get me in the mood, zone or inspired to do what I desire?” This can look like reading other people’s writing which might inspire me to write my own. Or complete a coaching session that is likely to be a problem someone is trying to overcome as well as a solution for them AND a pathway in between the two. They can’t be the only ones with this problem, it’s just not possible. Therefore, it MUST be valuable to someone else too. Another example is the good old gym session that so many of us procrastinate
Reader Question: I Need a Coach’s Perspective on Dating Etiquette.
Reader Question: I Need a Coach’s Perspective on Dating Etiquette. I’m a 23-year-old woman. I’ve just started seriously going out and looking to date guys. I read a lot of articles about “dating etiquette”. Two Questions: 1- How can I make sure I have a good first date? 2- Should a guy really pay on a first date? It seems so archaic. I’m independent but I don’t mind if someone pays…I just don’t want there to be expectations. Great questions! One of the most important things on a first date to remember is making sure that you have a good time. Sounds kind of obvious right? But don’t go there to GET something…and don’t go there to GIVE something. Go there to BE something. Be yourself in ways that you most enjoy. If you’re fun and funny, be fun and funny. If you love intellectually stimulating conversations, ponder how life works with him. Don’t expect anything but do try to put yourself out there in ways that will attract the people you desire to be around and create the experiences you desire to have. Don’t wait for any man to make it amazing for you! It’s your life and it’s your night out. Remove any expectations as much as you can and if the conversation and connection really isn’t there at least you’ve gone to a place that is enjoyable for you and you met someone new! As far as paying for a date, just know that there are many different camps of thought in the Modern World about who should pay on a first date. And if we apply a “should” onto anyone we may very well be disappointed when they believe something different to us. Different people behave in different ways because all people have different values. If you’re happy to pay for yourself and he doesn’t pay for you, you’ve lost nothing. If he pays for you then great! If you want a man to pay for you on a date (and financially support, you later on) then consider looking for a man with those values and with a certain amount of financial abundance. And if you want a man to share responsibilities with so you can co-create something together then consider what this might look like on the first date. How else will you contribute to the connection and future relationship? What will you bring to the party? What will he bring? Be mindful to steer away from transactional interactions. Neither he nor you should be expecting anyone to pay (or behave in any way) in order to achieve an outcome. What are you trying to co-create together? On the date and for the rest of your life? Always keep this in mind edge finder – You need to be you. Being anyone else will attract the wrong “someone else”.
Why Self-Discipline is the Ultimate Act of Liberation.
The truth couldn’t be far more liberating.
Self-discipline is the foundation for creating true freedom in your life. This article will challenge your perception of discipline and break down how it can be the key to living a life filled with healthy habits and personal fulfillment.
The Benefits of Developing Persistence and How to Keep It.
The Benefits of Developing Persistence and How to Keep It. Persistence can be a difficult journey, especially when starting! But we need it to succeed, unfortunately. Persistence takes a true love of the process, which is why it can be so difficult! Suppose we’re doing something for extrinsic motivation, or external validation of some kind. In that case, it can be tough to proceed and persist when the validation or positive results we desire may not come every time or even for a long time. Especially in darker, tougher times. Anyone can run a business and call themselves an entrepreneur when the money is rolling in, but what about when you have to pivot and have to follow through on difficult decisions? This can be many decisions such as: Delegating time-consuming tasks knowing they’ll get done: Do you love it enough to keep going or are you just doing it for a paycheck, the praise and success? Are you enjoying the process and striving for perfection as you create and watch with joy what is unfolding? Are you excited about doing the hard work because it allows you to do the fun work? When I achieved my world record for the longest distance reversing a semi-truck 55 miles or 89 km in four hours! I knew I had to complete 120+ laps of the track we had set up to beat the previous record of 39 miles (62 km). How was I able to sit in a truck for four hours going in reverse? I made a game of it! Every lap I had marks on the road at numerous points to hit. I knew if I kept hitting them I would be driving a smooth fast lap. As soon as I had hit one marker on the track with my trailer tires I kept going and looked for the next one. Yes! Got it too. Next one. Hmm, not quite. Just missed it. Now I’ve got something to improve on the next lap. Now I’m getting rough with the truck. Ok, easy Brett… Smooth it out Next marker… Got it! And to me, this was one of the coolest games I could have created for myself. Hit enough marks on the ground and you get a world record, Brett. Drive a big truck in reverse for four hours? Sounds like fun to me! It can be difficult to do anything consistently for any length of time but if you enjoy the process it becomes easy. Driving big trucks probably taps into a childhood excitement for me. I used to play with little toy trucks. As an adult, I get paid to play with big ones in movies and for truck work driving across the country. What do you enjoy? What gives you a deep sense of fulfillment? You may have forgotten about it to do more “adult things” like pay bills. Go back to when you were last working, building, tinkering, creating, or serving without any reward and doing it just because… There’s probably something in that. There’s no need for you to be on this journey alone. Let’s connect to create a game plan to get you started on the right track.
How to Avoid Making This Passive Income Mistake.
Learn how to avoid the common misconceptions and mistakes made when your earning passive income.
