Read This Before You Give Away Your Personal Power

A lot of people go to see specialists like doctors, mechanics, therapists who know more about a problem than we do when they them.

In the modern world, this is truly amazing, especially if you live in a larger city, because you may have hundreds of people, within a half hours drive from you, all with specialist knowledge, years of training and willing to serve.

I’m all about learning and trying to understand a problem that you might have yourself and trying to be well studied in lots of subjects. But it can be very hard to learn about specialized topics that take years to learn to all the greatest depths, and so, when we have a larger more significant problem, we need to share this challenge we are facing with other people to assist us. 

There seems to be two types of people in this world when we look at this sort of relationship with specialized knowledge:

1. People who seek help from others for everything

2. People who hate to seek because they want to be seen as capable, don’t like to be told what to do and don’t like giving up control.

Like many things in life, it’s wise to sit squarely in the middle and have the ability to see either side and achieve what needs to be achieved by going in either direction.

Seek help when needed. Do it on your own when needed.

But, most importantly, remove the emotional charges of always feeling like you need help from someone other than you, or, in the second example, often feeling like everyone is out to get you or that you don’t need anyone else. 

It’s not the specialist that’s the problem, it’s who they are associated to, what their motivations are and can they truly be unbiased, impartial and make decisions WITH YOU AND FOR YOU within your values and needs. 

This problem is also compounded by certain authorities being part of associations and certain (dare I say) cliques or clubs where fees, commissions and biased information can truly take out the impartiality. 

As a coach I truly strive to help my clients create a deeper understanding of their situation, both externally as well as internally.

I’ve had a few times over the years where I could probably have sought support of some kind for major personal issues that I had had; a bit of depression, going through a life transition and wondering if getting a diagnosis for ADHD in adulthood would be beneficial.

But I always felt comfortable enough (maybe through confidence or stubbornness) that I could figure it out on my own.

I knew that if I just kept moving I would figure it out. Try this? Try that! Read this. Do it this way instead. Something would eventually give. And if not, I could always seek external help anyway.

So if you ever have a big problem or challenge you’re facing, don’t be afraid. Sit with it first. Own it. Say to yourself, “I have an obstacle”.

And then celebrate because you had to have moved in the first place to be able to get to where you are now to even have this new problem that you didn’t have before. 

Smile at it and thank it for all that it’s giving you in new awarenesses and new opportunities.

Give it a label yourself and develop any broad or deep awareness around it that you can. Don’t let someone else name it for you just yet. It’s yours, so you get to define it! It’s yours, so you get to come up with the solution and next steps. 

And then, if need be, you can still change the label and action steps again the next day.

Get curious.

Ultimately many of us want a solution to our problem but end up with a label and an identity. It’s your situation so why not label it yourself? 

With all that said, if it’s getting worse faster than you can explore it, best to seek help immediately.

What are YOU going to do about your current situation? 

Peer over the edge and look deep inside, edge finder. What a beautiful way to get to know yourself and love yourself…

~Brett Solomano