How to Overcome Jealousy in Your Relationship
How to Overcome Jealousy in Your Relationship. Having jealousy consistently plays a role in your relationship can quickly be the demise of your once healthy and loving relationship. It sure is a big weight for you both to carry! A great example of a common argument in a relationship can stem from your partner spending more of their free time with their friends or deciding to work longer hours than before. The sudden shift may lead your mind into a dark rabbit hole of “what-if” type questions. “What if they no longer love me?” “What if he wants a younger lover?” “What if they want to be with someone else?” Side Note: A separate conversation here is if a partner is operating outside the bounds of the rules that you’ve set in your relationship. There will be another blog on this. Make sure to check it out. By asking yourself questions about the emotion, you can discover the reason why you’re feeling jealous in a relationship. Start here to learn what jealousy is and action forward tips moving through the heavy emotion. You can learn more about the problem by asking yourself these questions: What do I fear losing? Why do I fear losing this? Why would this be so bad? Why would that be so bad? (And the answer to this question can be then questioned with…) Why would the answer to that be so bad for me? (And again, ask the same question for the next answer) Repeat these questions until you find a deeper answer. Some common answers that may come up as you answer each question might be: Because then I’d be alone. Because I’d be unseen. Because I’d be unloved. Phew… *Sigh*… This can be tough to read out loud at first so be kind to yourself as you explore and observe this. While much joy in life can be found through relationships and other people loving us, it’s important to cultivate a sense of wholeness within ourselves as well. This inner strength can act as a buffer against jealousy. Once we find what it is that we are expecting to receive from them we can ask: While I thought that that person or situation was unique and the only way to receive that thing I wanted (e.g. love, significance, connection, variety, stimulation, income etc) how else can I get that for myself from other places? Is It Normal to Be Jealous? Yes, it is normal and common. But the question is, is it acceptable? And, if it is acceptable, what does it bring value? All emotions can be treated like gauges on a dashboard giving you a reading on your current state in relation to the world around you and your connection between your conscious and subconscious beliefs. The few times I’ve felt jealous I’ve been able to transmute it with the questions above. Somehow, I’ve always been rather rational and logical with certain emotions but as I write this blog I’m beginning to realize why I haven’t experienced too much jealousy in my life. Sadly, that’s because from a younger age I’ve always been fiercely independent, and bitterness and resentment are slightly more common for me in the history of my emotional ledger. Instead of believing I want something from someone or that they owe it to me (defensive fear – jealousy), in the past I have gone straight to the emotions of either bitterness or resentment (dismissive aggression or avoidance) with a voice in my mind sometimes appearing at worst as “How could they do that to me?! I’ll show them!” On a positive note, since I’ve started working on myself this has helped change my perceptions and actions now blossoming into a stable healthy place and calm loving balanced perspective. So to answer my own questions above, yes, all emotions are acceptable and bring value IF we listen to them and treat them as gauges on the dashboard. Is it ok to have a low gas tank? Yes. Is it ok to run around all day with a low gas tank, the fuel light on and blame others for your current situation? I’d say no. There is far more power and love and in taking action from the feedback that our emotions give us and by diving in to explore them. How Do You Know if You’ve Finally Overcome Jealousy? Once you start to observe and deprogram your mind by sitting with yourself and asking these questions on a daily basis as your emotions pop up, you’ll begin to see how rigidly attached you are to certain things and outcomes. Attachments bring expectations. But the harsh truth of reality is that it doesn’t always comply with our expectations. We need to show up as we are, where we are for whoever is right in front of us… Even if it’s no longer our partner or the team we wanted to be promoted to. It may take time to learn to live from a place of abundance and feel the love and power coming from inside instead of outside, but the effort to break the hold that an emotion like jealousy can have and navigate it differently can change your life. Keep the famous quote in mind, “If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it’s yours. If not, it was never meant to be.
Jealousy: What Is It and How to Move Past It
Jealousy is a heavy emotion experienced and felt by everyone. While we all feel it differently and not all to the same degree, jealousy can be extremely tiring on those we love and others around us as it can feel like an insecurity blanket smothering the life out of what could be a thriving relationship.
Why Self-Discipline is the Ultimate Act of Liberation.
The truth couldn’t be far more liberating.
Self-discipline is the foundation for creating true freedom in your life. This article will challenge your perception of discipline and break down how it can be the key to living a life filled with healthy habits and personal fulfillment.
The Benefits of Developing Persistence and How to Keep It.
The Benefits of Developing Persistence and How to Keep It. Persistence can be a difficult journey, especially when starting! But we need it to succeed, unfortunately. Persistence takes a true love of the process, which is why it can be so difficult! Suppose we’re doing something for extrinsic motivation, or external validation of some kind. In that case, it can be tough to proceed and persist when the validation or positive results we desire may not come every time or even for a long time. Especially in darker, tougher times. Anyone can run a business and call themselves an entrepreneur when the money is rolling in, but what about when you have to pivot and have to follow through on difficult decisions? This can be many decisions such as: Delegating time-consuming tasks knowing they’ll get done: Do you love it enough to keep going or are you just doing it for a paycheck, the praise and success? Are you enjoying the process and striving for perfection as you create and watch with joy what is unfolding? Are you excited about doing the hard work because it allows you to do the fun work? When I achieved my world record for the longest distance reversing a semi-truck 55 miles or 89 km in four hours! I knew I had to complete 120+ laps of the track we had set up to beat the previous record of 39 miles (62 km). How was I able to sit in a truck for four hours going in reverse? I made a game of it! Every lap I had marks on the road at numerous points to hit. I knew if I kept hitting them I would be driving a smooth fast lap. As soon as I had hit one marker on the track with my trailer tires I kept going and looked for the next one. Yes! Got it too. Next one. Hmm, not quite. Just missed it. Now I’ve got something to improve on the next lap. Now I’m getting rough with the truck. Ok, easy Brett… Smooth it out Next marker… Got it! And to me, this was one of the coolest games I could have created for myself. Hit enough marks on the ground and you get a world record, Brett. Drive a big truck in reverse for four hours? Sounds like fun to me! It can be difficult to do anything consistently for any length of time but if you enjoy the process it becomes easy. Driving big trucks probably taps into a childhood excitement for me. I used to play with little toy trucks. As an adult, I get paid to play with big ones in movies and for truck work driving across the country. What do you enjoy? What gives you a deep sense of fulfillment? You may have forgotten about it to do more “adult things” like pay bills. Go back to when you were last working, building, tinkering, creating, or serving without any reward and doing it just because… There’s probably something in that. There’s no need for you to be on this journey alone. Let’s connect to create a game plan to get you started on the right track.
How to Avoid Making This Passive Income Mistake.
Learn how to avoid the common misconceptions and mistakes made when your earning passive income.
