“I recently started doing a meditation practice for the first time. I know it’s been around for years, but finally I got onto it. I’ve been doing it for several weeks now, but haven’t noticed any difference and feel like I’m just sitting there looking like an idiot. LOL. Do you have any tips to make sure I’m doing it right? The course I’m taking doesn’t offer much more insight, and there are plenty of others out there, but I guess I’m lost.”
I sure do have some tips! I’ve spent a lot of time working with adults and young people who “can’t meditate”. Exercising your focus is a lot like exercising your body… it works; it’s just whether you can work it in a way that works for you.
We all need to “keep fit,” but some prefer to do it in different ways. Some people like to walk, hike, or run with friends. Some people prefer the solitude of swimming. Either way, the body is moving.
Similarly with meditation, anything you can do to train the “focus muscle” will help you to stay present in your day (as well as a huge amount of other benefits)! The important thing to remember with meditation, like exercise or any other discipline, is that you’re doing something that’s a step above whatever relationship you had with yourself before. So congratulations on that!
If you wanted to get fit and were going for walks for the first time but hadn’t noticed the changes physically yet, firstly, celebrate the fact you put your shoes on, got out of the house, and tried a new thing!
Next, there are a lot of different types of meditation out there, and ultimately they’re going to do a couple of things: still your mind, both mentally and physiologically, and also give you more presence, peace, and focus to live from.
Many will do it through the breath, and many will also offer a way to have “non-attachment” to your thoughts by not identifying with them directly.
After several weeks, you really should be noticing some small differences or abilities. A little more peace? A little more calmness and balanced emotions? If not, I’d ask you to consider the style and form.
Some people prefer a guided meditation track with a voice telling them where to focus, while others need the quiet with some basic wave sounds.
But, for some people, peaceful nature sounds might be too silent and too much of a blank canvas for others to sit with while their mind goes wild underneath, though! The style of meditation might just not be for you.
Perhaps try a different one for a week or two? Some people love yoga (also a form of meditation and a way to become more mindful of the body while calming the mind) as it forces them to bring their mind into their body, but for some people, this may be too much “noise” in their body. Something is better than nothing, so don’t give up! Play with it. Keep going! Just like physical exercise, there will be a style for you!
Don’t be too hard on yourself along the way, as, just like with anything else, there will be bad days and good days. But, yes, over time you should notice changes.
Lastly, try switching off the phone and your connection to work, family, and life a little more often during your day for short periods, as this can also be the cause of some overstimulation.
If you need some more help, I’d love to give you a coaching session where we dive into your awareness as you develop your own strategy and independence with your practice.
