Why We Get Angry or Frustrated…

By Brett SolomanoUncategorized
Negative emotions can be the curse of many a happy successful human being.


We get on a great run in life with friends, creative projects and our job and then something will happen where things will become “bad”.


Two examples:
You decide to give someone you love a gift, it could be something physical and tangible or it could be something more like a service. But the receiver doesn’t receive it positively or act upon it in the way you hoped. They are perhaps ungrateful or maybe indifferent.
You say “Well that was a waste.”


You have a plan at work, an idea that you’d like to implement that you think would change things for the better in a big way. However nobody understands it at first but seem ok with you trying it and showing it to them. You know it will be a great idea so you act on it right away.



When the finished result is completed, you show it off with much gusto. The response however is mute and flat. You show it to your colleagues again in the same and also a different way to re-explain yourself. They must get it now, you think. But instead they don’t. Thoughts start running through your head: Are they stupid? Did I do something wrong? Did I miss something? Am I out of my league here? Should I take my awesome ideas elsewhere if they don’t get them?


But it isn’t all bad as much as you would think because…


Deep within the roots of our negative emotions are opportunities to observe who we are. AND, better still, how to rectify the situation, getting our needs met along with the needs of others.


Each negative emotion has a meaning and reason. Like a signal on our proverbial dashboard, it tells us something.


Each emotion has an energy, and I’m not talking in an esoteric way necessarily. I’m talking a reason that it occurs and also a direction of either toward or away from an object or an idea. Something we are passionate about, a love or a desire. Or a fear, something that disgusts, concerns or repulses.


Anger and frustration, simply put, are passion (energy toward something) that has been blocked or not received after the passion was sent.


As always, once we understand the reason our emotions exist we can then ask great questions to develop our awareness of the situation. For anger and frustration we can ask:


  • What is it that I’m passionate about?
  • What is it that I will let go of to give myself a break from this discomfort I feel (even if only for five minutes)?
  • How can I have more empathy for the situation or person/people involved? What does the situation or person need/require?
  • What is it that I will do differently next time I attempt it?


You can practice these questions first on the examples above pretending as though you are the main character and that it is YOUR experience for real.


Can we learn to love our emotions? All of them including the negative ones by listening to them?




You can learn more about emotions, the charge or motivations and reasons behind them in my workshops here.