Daily Ritual – Part 3: Why You Shouldn’t Use Affirmations – And What You Should Use Instead

By Brett SolomanoDaily Ritual
Something that I was taught when I first started doing personal development was to use affirmations at important times during my day (eg: when first waking up, on a break, before important events, before bed etc) as it would help set my state and get me into the right frame of mind.

 

The problem I always had with affirmations though was that when you said something (such as “I am wealthy and abundant”) there was always a voice that would counteract it. (“No you’re not!” or “But you are in debt!”)

 

Other problems that I came across when I was practicing affirmations was that just saying it a ten times in a day …never actually lead to me BEING that thing.

 

I might say it but you had to BE it…to OWN it first.

 

It HAD TO COME FROM WITHIN.

 

Deep inside.

 

And not just read off a piece of paper.

 

It had to be read as though you already had it. It had to be read from that place where you were having your best day of the month! Like you had ready done the thing 100 times before.

 

So because of this lack of energy/state that you didn’t have at the time, and that you were reading it from a place where you were more commonly experienced with (eg: self doubt) AND trying to get to a place where you wanted to be but perhaps weren’t all that experienced with under the circumstances (eg: confidence in your new job) it often didn’t work as well as you might have hoped.

 

So what do you do?

 

What I found is that I need to stop pretending I had it and acknowledge I didn’t! Be present to exactly where I was at and exactly where I wanted to go.

 

And, here’s the trick…
I needed to ask a question that bridged the gap between where I was at currently into where I wanted to go to.
Examples:
Instead of saying…
I am rich.
I am sexy/beautiful.
People are always happy to see me.

 

I started to use questions to push my focus…
Why are so many people giving me money right now?
Why am I being offered more work right now?
Why are people always pleased to see me?
Why are so many women/men attracted to me?

 

These questions tie well into the previous article on power lists here  as you develop your genius and what you do well.

 

It works better than standard affirmations for two reasons:
  1. It presupposes it is true when you say it in a present tense (“Why do…” or “Why are”) taking care of the attitude of the internal (your thoughts and your state) which is backed up by evidence, throwing water on the “doubting voices” in your mind.
  2. It also takes care of the external (evidence of the affirmation) by giving you reasons to look for in life, actions to take and a deeper connection between your internal and external realities.

 

Notice the tense and timing of the questions too. Hidden within them are words similar to or references toward “I am” or “it is”. But as they are hidden it makes the language more softer allowing the new success to slowly bubble up, rarely triggering the doubt or our hater voice inside.

 

“Why do/does…”
“What am I…”
“Why is…”

 

When you make a statement you see things as they are. When you ask a question you peer beyond your current understanding into the unknown and into new possibilities.

 

With the answers, you will have areas of your life to focus on. THOSE areas are the important things!

 

Give it a try! Go back through your old list of affirmations and rewrite them as present tense questions. If you don’t have an old list of affirmations lying around, (or if you’re an affirmation novice) look up some on the internet that resonate with you or (for the more experienced) just come up with ten of your own. Then turn them into questions!

 

As part of our “Daily RItuals Series” this is the third part or third tool that I’ve shared for you to try. Take these and use them for two weeks as part of your morning ritual in your diary or journal. Email me with the results! Did it work? Or not? I’d love to hear!

 

Also for more ideas on questions, check out this other blog post on how and why questions are so amazing to set you up for the day ahead.

 

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